My favorite smile. Taken by Jen in Fort Dodge!
Ultrasounds and Abortion
I didn’t get an ultrasound when I was pregnant. I had a few reasons. I don’t think it’s wrong to have ultrasounds, so read on if you’ve had one. This is not a condemning post.
I’m one to question. Especially if I’m in an unfamiliar place. Like pregnancy. A kind, gentle caution from a dear friend about ultrasounds prompted a lot more reading and research than maybe is normal. I think my mom even encouraged me to “not read too much.” I know what she meant; I appreciate her for knowing my tendencies and trying to balance me a bit.
Medical stuff aside, the main reason I decided to go ultrasound-free was this:
The womb is secret and dark and protected for a reason. That is where God does his intricate knitting work. My journey of trust in God to grow our baby was tied tightly to my choice to let what was hidden remain hidden. I didn’t feel like I could go and try to look inside and still trust fully in my Creator. Something about trying to know and see was an issue of control for me. I had to let go. I had to let go of ultrasounds.
I don’t regret it at all. I loved the peace that God brought. I love how he made Will to be my near-perfect match; he was right there with me. I think he actually said, “We’ll see her soon enough.” (He was hoping for a girl.)
I am fascinated by this cultural norm (ultrasounds during pregnancy) that wasn’t always a norm. I think my interested is partially fueled by all the conversations I had when I was pregnant. I was kind of the odd-ball for not coming home with black and white pictures of our baby. “So have you had your 20 week ultrasound?” was a question I got so many times, and never quite knew how to answer it without going into a 10-minute explanation.
So why the title, Ultrasounds and Abortion?
I am ashamed at how little I cared about abortion before Mercedes. It was an “out there” issue that zealots were fighting. The language was too strong, pro-lifers were too passionate, and… I was selfish.
I would never kill my baby; isn’t that enough pro-life for you?
Then you have a baby and are up all night with them and they grow and they laugh and smile and feel and are so helpless and so wonderful and so sacred.
And then I think, “If I believe God made Mercedes, then God could have (stay with me here) made her in someone else’s womb. And what if that mom would have decided she didn’t want her and took a pill or had her pulled apart and scraped out?”
No Mercedes.
No.
Mercedes was meant to live. That’s why God made her. And that secret, hidden, safe place God designed for babies to grow—a mother’s womb— is being invaded by chemicals and instruments.
So one morning I decided I didn’t know enough about abortion. And I was particularly interested to learn more about the effect of ultrasounds on abortion.
I was asking questions like,
“Have abortions increased or decreased with the use of ultrasounds?”
“If a woman considering abortion has an ultrasound does it guarantee she will change her mind and let her baby live?”
So, what did I find?
An afternoon of grieving.
I watched videos of abortion. Read testimonies. Looked at pictures. Saw the instruments. Saw the legs and arms and heads of babies lying on tables.
And the most powerful video I watched used an ultrasound.
I set out thinking ultrasounds would be a culprit. I was wrong. And that’s good. We can now see 11-week-old babies squirming away from abortion instruments in the womb.
This post is long and probably tastes bad to some.
But O God, be pleased to use it to send even just one person on an afternoon of searching and learning and watching and grieving. Awaken us from our stupor and make us care deeply for mothers and fathers and babies.







